Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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