i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
