It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
lets start a swedish sibling band together
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
