PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
