butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
