he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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