OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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