Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
