dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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