Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
