i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
