so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
As shirtless as possible
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
