So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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