Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
