iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
