The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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