can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
you made out with another girl for some wings
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize