Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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