so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
