M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
