Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
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