there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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