Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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