My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
vagina is talking i cant
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
