His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
