and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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