Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Randomize
