just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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