Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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