but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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