I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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