Christians are straight up FREAKS
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
