i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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