I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
