She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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