Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
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