he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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