This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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