Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
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