I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
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