That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
