You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
