first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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