I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I just blew my weed a kiss
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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