If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
