Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
