I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
