I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize
