Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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