i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Randomize
