She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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