I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize