I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
