Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
