Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
