i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
