Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
