i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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