new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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