We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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