Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
