i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
