my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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