but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
