think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
