Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
