Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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