so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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