I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
