Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize