Sry I called you an 8
I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
How does one acquire holy water?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
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