problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
