i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
