Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
