Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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