I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
