you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
