I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize