If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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